


Flexing

by loquaciouslass



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Fan Fusion, Gen, Post-Canon, a fic about dem hot muscles, fusion fic, terrible comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9282452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loquaciouslass/pseuds/loquaciouslass
Summary: Muscles are a good basis for a first relationship, right?





	

Friendship, Through Flexing

The house is empty when Connie arrives, door left wide open and not even a note on the table. It’s not really rare for the house to be empty- the gems are always going to and fro, trying to ignore some people and reconnect with others- but on training days, at least _one_ person would be around. Steven, usually, but often Pearl and occasionally Garnet with a knowing smile as Steven came along with ‘surprise’ flowers.

Connies purses her lips and steps inside. There’s a chance that some of the gems have started a fight. There’s a low chance that someone’s been horrifically injured. There’s a very low chance that a corrupted gem has come along. So why isn’t anyone here?

She puts her bag down and calls, “hello?”

There’s a flash of light and the Purple Puma comes rolling out of the warp pad, tears in her eyes once she switches back to Amethyst. Her face is split into a wide grin, like a geode ripped to show its gleaming insides.

“Connie! Oh man, thank stars you’re here, you have _got_ to come help us!”

“Why?” There’s a series of images flicking through her brain; injuries, cracked gems, fine dust and screaming. “What’s happening?”

“You just- oh Connie, you have _got_ to see this!”

Amethyst grabs her hand and pulls her through the warp. There’s feeling of weightlessness before they land, and at first Connie thinks that the faint grunts she can hear are just the aftermath of that odd warp noise. But it keeps going, even after the light fades. She looks out to the Sky Arena, and once she squints…

“Amethyst...why do you need me to watch Jasper and Bismuth flex at each other?”

“Because!” Amethyst says, waving her arms around, “we’re trying to work out which one of them is the _most_ swole, and everyone else is at a standstill!”

Connie stays silent. She turns her eyes to see the crowd in the seats; Garnet whooping for Bismuth’s muscles and Peridot throwing up calculations about hard light structures while Pearl flushes and stares. Lapis is standing a way away from the pair, frowning, but the fact that they’re both soaking wet and glistening suggests that she’s had something to do in the past.

“Where’s Steven?” She asks. “I thought we were meant to fuse and practice…”

“Well…change of plans. This is the first time they’ve met. We want them to get off to a good start.”

“So why isn’t Steven here?”

“Something about inserting too much bias into the narrative or whatever. So, how do you think we should pick?”

Connie stares into Amethyst’s glittering eyes and sighs. This is not combat training. Pearl is having…a moment; and Garnet is way too busy being supportive to remember that they’re meant to be training. “I don’t know…they could…wrestle? Or arm wrestle…you and Steven nearly broke this place, I don’t even wanna think about what those two could do.”

On cue, Bismuth stomps a beefy leg down and sends cracks through the ground. Connie pauses.

“I’m going to find Steven. I’ll come for training next week.”

Connie is older now, but she still doesn’t want to know about what gems are thinking about other gems.

She finds Steven in the Pizzas’. They talk, arranging dates for movie visits and camping trips, and for a moment Connie forgets that the gems are doing weird gem things.

Until the light. The great, shining light that shatters the glass in the windows, making the ground rumble as a laugh like an explosion rattles the town. Connie grabs her sword and runs outside, Steven following, and they see the silhouette rising from the temple.

 _She_ could probably topple a diamond, limbs thick as a mountain and voice carrying for miles. The sun catches on stripy skin, sending rainbows spiralling onto Beach City; a warning and demand all in one. Her arms stretch towards the sky, and she cracks a yawn, before _leaping_ the road to crash in front of them.

They both trip back. It’s like looking into a supernova.

“ARM WRESTLING WAS A GREAT IDEA! I’M SO FUCKING BUFF, CONNIE! LOOK AT MY ARMS!”

Steven and Connie exchange glances. The fusion is flexing.

“You’re….you’re Jasper and Bismuth, right?”

“YEP!” She flexes again. “TURNS OUT MUSCLE APPRECIATION I GOOD GROUND FOR FUSION! WHY BE TWO KINDA BIG PEOPLE WHEN WE CAN BE ONE BRICK SHITHOUSE!”

There’s faint calling as the other gems come along (not from Pearl, which Connie finds odd), and soon there’s a genuine crowd gathered around this new face. She’s big, she’s loud, and she’s reflecting light in such a way that a disco ball would be ashamed.

“You can’t _say_ words like that around Steven and Connie!” Says Garnet, eventually. Connie doesn’t have the heart to tell her that she and Steven already know what fuck means. Garnet probably already knows, deep in her heart. She starts up a conversation about appropriateness, and Connie takes a moment to watch the gem’s reactions.

Steven is, as expected, all energy and excitement. Amethyst is much the same, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she tries to get the new fusion to say more. Peridot is furiously zipping around her, taking account of structures or something. Pearl is staring like the stars themselves are telling her to jump into those arms.

Connie sighs and eventually calls, “Hey! Uh, what are we meant to call you?”

The fusion turns, stretching out her legs, and hums. “JASPER AND BISMUTH…I’M ALL IRIDESCENT…AND HUGE….I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD CALL ME….”

She flexes again. The light catches on her gems, her muscles, showing off every inch of pure beefcake.

“SPECTROLITE!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> If Jasper and Bismuth wouldn't make the beefiest fusion in the world I'll kick my own ass and then I'll stare sadly and go "WHY WOULD YOU ROB THIS POWERLIFTER FROM US"


End file.
